originally published on June 20, 2014 on Polkadot-Bow
I hold on too tightly to things in this world. I’m trying to let go, or at least hold on loosely. Loosely like the way I sometimes hold onto a sheet of paper that sweeps smoothly out if the wind changes direction.
Purging makes me think of vomit, of puking, of throwing things out. It makes me think of trash, things invaluable.
Purging is what I do to those old homework papers, to the broken hair accessories, to the worn-out socks. To my old bookmark collection that used to be so valuable, to my old spelling quizzes. Judge me, but I used to think it was important to keep proof that I was a great speller in elementary school.
Culling makes me think of pastels, of black and white, and of refinement. Of curating an exquisite collection of valuable items. Once I learned about the job of a curator at a program at a museum. We learned that placing fewer items in a same size case could bring more focus to those items, make them more important, more appreciated.
Culling is what I do to my wardrobe, selecting out what I don’t wear anymore, to bring more focus to what I enjoy wearing. Culling is what I do to birthday cards, greeting cards, holiday cards. I discard the ones with generic messages, and keep the meaningful ones from close friends.
Letting go makes me think of the wind that could blow the pages out of my hand if I let it. Of inhaling and exhaling and letting the cool air refresh my mind from everything I used to think I need.
Letting go is what I do to my old Highlights magazines, with the stories I so treasured. I need to face the fact that I’m not going to take the time to read them all over again. Letting go is the hardest, and I’m not ready to let go of everything I don’t need yet… And that’s okay, because I have to take this slow.
I have to purge, cull, let go.
Ah. I’m not actually sure in what direction to go in here (in writing this post…) so…