writing journal

“Writing journal” is a place where I share writing that I developed from my writing journal. (It’s been a while since I came up with the “writing journal” feature, and I don’t even remember what it’s about. I’m guessing this is what I meant it to be? I’m just following the title.) I think I sometimes also post writing prompts and stuff. The posts aren’t going to be like other posts in that there’s more creative experimentation, yet not fully developed pieces. In other words: there might be more weirdness than usual. Here’s the first entry:

Sometimes I don’t know what to write. Sometimes it’s because my mind is blank and I can’t think of anything. But a lot of times it’s not. It’s because I have so many things in my mind and what do I choose? How do I choose which little idea gets to go down the slide and land on the page first? I could let all the ideas stay inside, grow, build up pressure until they revolt or something.

No. I do what I can–approach the muddle in any way and try to coax something out. Maybe it’s like jenga blocks–this could crumble and fall apart, but if I take little steps to take apart the tower, I might be able to handle it.

I haven’t been able to write much lately, and it’s been bothering me. I finished my creative writing class so now I don’t have those assignments as a priority. I enjoyed the class. It pushed me to get things done, and stretched me by making me try things that I wouldn’t have chosen on my own. I learned from my teacher and classmates.

But now, I have freedom to focus on my own projects. I can write things undictated by assignments, I can write completely for me. (I write for my readers, but I imagine they are like me).

I was searching for assignments on MIT Open Course Ware (there’s something about choosing your own assignments) and the professor of one class said that she recommends having two long writing blocks a week, one for writing, one for revising. I realized that’s a good idea–it’s not about frequency so much as quality. Having multiple hours scheduled together lets the writer get into flow and just write. Sometimes I have one free hour, so I take that opportunity to write, and as I’m getting in the zone and have all these ideas coming, I need to quit.

I think that I’m going to try that–scheduling out fewer, but larger blocks of time to devote to writing. But that isn’t going to be the only time I write. I think I have this need for it. It’s kind of erratic. I don’t write in my journal regularly (the one I write in–my writing journal). But I think I actually need to write more frequently than just two times a week. Journals aren’t the same as full pieces. Maybe it’s the beginning stages of a piece, but it’s not commitment-marking. The point of that is to get thoughts down on paper and just take a few minutes to write, and it doesn’t even have to amount to anything.

Sometimes I go to say something and all I see is a blank wall even though I thought of something just a few seconds before. It’s like that with writing too. Which is why I’m writing this on scrap paper instead of waiting until I have access to my official notebook designated as my writing journal.

Writing. I think it’s the physical act of writing. Getting these thoughts down, cleaning my mind of these things floating around.

I don’t even know if I need to keep them. I keep my writing journal so I can review the entries later, and possibly find some material to work into another draft. Sometimes I find a fragment of beauty that I try to make whole.

Perhaps merely the act of writing is enough? After the cleansing comes the toil. I work at the computer piecing these slivers together, hoping to catch a glimpse of light.

Sometimes, keeping a writing journal is oppressive because I feel like I have to write in it and only it. But now I’m writing on a scrap, because I need to write, and this is how I’ll do it. There’s an outpouring of thoughts. Sometimes, I construct them in a such a way that they are beauty. Words can be like that.

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